A Whirlwind of Change

Last weekend I stood looking out at a beautiful view from Culzean Castle being hugged. That hug turned into a marriage proposal. I never imagined I would be in that happy place. But oh my god it felt and feels rather wonderful. It’s funny how when you’re not looking for something or someone, life can throw something your way that’s wonderful. I’ve got used to spanners being thrown into my life not big fat positive love stories.
To recap. When Colin died I spent a year only alone. It wasn’t long enough. I met someone and I thought yippee I’ve solved that hole in our lives. I was wrong. I got it quite wrong but it was no one’s fault and actually it was all part of our journey, perhaps I needed it to see what I had been so wrong about to get to where we are. At the end, after lots of heartache, I felt quite happy that it was going to be just me and the girls. Just us. I actually felt triumphant. I was also very much not looking for someone. I was still sad that me and the girls were in the position we were in without Colin but the pain of his loss was no longer unbearable. A future of just me and them was very appealing after so much turmoil. My feminist side was jubilant. So when one of my best friends texted with a potential date almost eight months ago I was very much anti it. More than that actually. But she’s a persuasive woman. So I passed on my number and almost immediately in came this message that was funny, interesting and warranted an answer.
It’s been a whirlwind. It’s been a learning curve. We both have had dark times and we both have kids we are very mindful of who’ve been through an awful lot in their short lives. But it’s been one of the best times of my life and I’ve never seen my kids this happy. And I know it’s only the beginning. And… well that’s it. Our new chapter begins. Colin is still with us in our hearts. The girls are so in love with their daddy they don’t remember but they are also pleased to be part of one big crazy modern blended family that gets more crazy by the day right now. People may judge. People may not. I don’t actually worry. I can’t change how I’ve handled things up to now but going forward I think everyone that matters is pretty ecstatic that this whirlwind has occurred. Bring it on.

9 Replies to “A Whirlwind of Change”

  1. Congratulations, what fabulous news! I wish you and your husband to be many happy years together! Xx

  2. Huge congratulations and very best wishes for your futures together ❤️
    Ps: no judgement here, I haven’t walked in your shoes. I do know Colin is not being replaced but that this is something new. New, exciting and just as beautiful. x

  3. Wow this is fabulous news Nicola absolutely brill, you and the girls deserve so many happy times ahead of you, I wish you all the happiness in the world much love guys to you and your New family x

  4. Congratulations to you and your children. I know what you have suffered and your blogs helped me enormously for the first horrendous years. I am getting my life back together too, it won’t be with a new partner but I am having some fun at last. You and your children deserve a happy life, it won’t mean that you forget the one you had before. X

  5. Many congratulations and every best wish to you, your girls, your new husband and his children for your new life together.

  6. Congratulations, delighted to hear this news, I hope you all have a very happy future together. Keep writing – we need you !

  7. Congratulations on your engagement. Wishing you both and all the children a long and happy life together. Hope you will keep your blog going Nicola, you have helped so many of us over the past few years.

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